MRI and questionable apparel

In a few hours I must go into town for a second MRI on my lumbar spine. I hate going to these things. It takes about an hour. You lay in this tube with a light that runs up and down your whole body. You breathe in funny patterns so they can get the pictures they need. The place I go is very nice. They cover your eyes with a cloth to keep you calm. Most people are a little claustrophobic when having an MRI done.

The bad part is you can wear no metal. Hence, I have to go without a bra or have a uniboob with my sports bra. I only own one pair of pants that have no metal in them. They are terry cloth and look like they belong to a set of pajamas. So I am going to look like a floppy titty, white trash housewife today. I'm not too thrilled about it. The facility has no secure place to put valuables or a change of clothes. So I also have to take off my rings and leave them at home. I need to figure out where to put my wallet. Anyway....

I thought about taking a change of clothes but I really don't want to go into a Burger King with a wad of clothes under my arm. I can just see the conversation occurring at the cash register:

Cashier 1: Did you see that lady that just came in?
Cashier 2: No.
Cashier 1: Yeah, she didn't even have a bra on. She was wearing sweatpants too. I bet she's going in there to take a dump.
Cashier 2: You can wait on her then.
Cashier 1: I don't think she is going to buy anything
Cashier 2: I thought I saw something under her arm.
Cashier 1: I hope it wasn't dope.
Cashier 2: I don't think it was. Wouldn't it be cool though if there was a drug bust and they closed down the restaurant? We could go home early.
Cashier 1: Yeah. That would be cool.
Cashier 2: I think it was some clothes.
Cashier 1: You know she could be homeless.
Cashier 2: Yeah, I saw this movie once with Madonna. She was homeless. She washed up in public bathrooms. She did her hair with the hand dryer.
Cashier 1: What if she's mentally ill? I mean maybe she thinks she's Superman or something with her change of clothes.
Cashier 2: I say we do a covert operation to see what she's doing in there. You go to the bathroom and I'll cover your register. Report back in seven minutes. If you don't come back in that time I'll come in and get you.
Cashier 1: O.k. Break.

Just then I walk out of the bathroom and approach the counter.

Me: I'd like a medium ice tea please.
Cashier 2: Is there anything else I can get for you?
Me: No thanks.

The other possibility is I could go in unnoticed. That's probably what would happen, I mean I notice when women aren't wearing bras, or are particular unkempt. Do other people notice though?

So if you see me in town I'm getting an MRI. I'm not mentally ill, homeless, or reliving the seventies.




*Update: I chose the uniboob look.