Day one Summary of the Art Show

I worked eleven hours yesterday at the art show.

9:00: Met up with Lynne at her house. Waited for her to get ready for another half hour. Went to the bank because she forgot to get change. Lynne came out of the bank with a bank bag and eight cookies and asked me to wrap the cookies in a cocktail napkin for later. Lynne almost drove off the road.

10:00: Get to the Art Show after stopping at the Art Gallery for Lynne to pick up 2 more paintings. Set up. No one is here for the festival yet. Bickering ensues among the artists. Lynne thinks they don't like her because they don't know who she is. Her paintings are in the White House.

11:00: Artists complaining about no signage from farm owner to let patrons know there is an art gallery in the big red barn. No one wants to go talk to the farmer. No one knows where we are located in correlation to other events at the farm. I suggest we go and get a map at the entrance. They usually hand out maps of activities at these kind of things. No one wants to go. They only want to complain about it. Another artist's friend and I go. We get a map and find some answers.

12:00: I want to shoot myself. Everyone bickering over where to put crappy small sign. Lynne suggests they borrow the sign from the regular gallery and place it outside of the barn. I go get the sign. I carry the sign. I set up the sign. I feel like Pablo the cabana boy. Lynne's art hangs in the White House. She's cousins with Dick Cheney,

1:00: Signs of life in the barn. Nope, just some white trash. Lynne rambling on about crap she's already told me 52 times.

2:00: Begging for death. Hot and stuffy in barn. Wandering away from Lynne now. Talking about medical ailments with other artist for 2 hours now. They are going to implode at any second according to their doctors.

3:00: Shoot me. Slight interest in Lynne's work. Lynne scares off customer by repeating herself and telling everyone that her paintings are in the White House. Now she offers proof. She wants everyone to look at the letter from Dick.

4:00: Racial conversations start because we have run out of medical problems. Attacking religious choices. I'm walking away......

5:00: Almost time to go home. One more hour. Oh no, Lynne has asked me to stay until ten.
Shoot me. Nice NY lady that Lynne dislikes gives me a diet coke with lime. It's yummy. I need a bloody mary though.

6:00 Michael brings Subway. Thank you Michael for the food and save me from this place......or shoot me.

7:00: Haley shows up to hang her artwork. She was the breath of fresh air I needed. Lynne contemplates leaving at eight. Oh and did you know her work hangs in the White House.

8:00: Helped Haley hang her artwork. Lynne has me show her how to work the credit card machine. Poor Haley, you have no idea what you are in store for tomorrow. I'm sorry I couldn't warn you.

Summary:

Items sold: 0
White House comments: 1,897
Cookies eaten: 2
Fans used: 1
Hours worked: 11
Mormon bashings: 12
Mexican bashings: 8
mosquito bites: 4
Days left in this hell: 30
Money made for Christmas Gifts so far: $110.00