Shit Job...I hate myself for being nice.

I know you guys have heard me bitch about living way out in the Arizona desert. Truth be told, I like it out here. The people that live in my neighborhood really want to be here. This is our first house. We looked for a long time to find something we both loved. Our house was the first one built on our street. We got to see our neighborhood built up around us. Well apparently we made a good investment, because everyone and their brothers are moving out here. I have several cool neighbors, but this post will focus on one set of weirdo neighbors.

This couple moved in across the street from us. In our neighborhood people come and greet the new neighbor after about three days. Michael and I are way behind in charm school, so we hadn't said hello to anyone. One Friday night Michael suggested we go and say hello to all of the neighbors at once, to get it over with. I concurred . We went across the street to Lynn and Dave's. Lynn is in her robe. It's like a seventies blue nylon robe. Yikes! It is 6:00 p.m. I thought she might have had a hard day at work, but she works from home. Michael and I are whisked in the house. They have two dogs some kind of Irish terriers. One of them is big enough to ride. He is really nice, but slobbering (like Hooch) all over the both of us. Oh man does Dave have a rug! Wow. That is one of the worse toupees I have ever seen. Lynn dear, are you with us? Did you do too many drugs in the seventies? Fuck the seventies, how about ten minutes ago? Hello, anyone in there? Oh shit, I wish I hadn't asked. Oh really, you're an artist. Half an hour later. Oh really, you're and artist? You're related to Dick Cheney? How fascinating. Meanwhile I am kicking Michael in the shin. Great fucking idea numb nuts. All weirdo quirks aside, they are nice people.

A few days later they need help hooking up their computer. Michael to the rescue. I ask if they are any better. The answer, no. A few hours later, can we program their landscaping drip system for them. So we gave them our instruction booklet. That was four months ago. A week later. They can't get the phone to work. Five hours I spent with them. My patience is wearing thin. Now I hide when I pull into the garage. If I see her at the mailbox, I run.

So you may ask yourself where the fuck is this going. I couldn't escape one day. She talked to me about a death in the family and that bonded her to me. I wish I wasn't so fucking empathic and nice. Anyway she said she was going to have an art show and would I help her set up. I nodded and consoled her about the death. Yesterday I get a call.

Lynn: Nina the art show is coming up. Will you help me?
Me: If you need some I can give you a hand.
Lynn: Great I will pay you $6/hr. I need you to work every Thursday and Friday during October.
Me: ...ummm.
Me:(((stunned)))
Me:(((thinking))) ...the dumbass good neighbor
Me: Well let me check with Michael and I'll get back to you.
Lynn:O.k. because I really want you to do it. I love you.

Later a conversation with Michael ensues. That's about $550 bucks, it would be useful for x-mas shopping. He tells me she won't sell much and it's located at a farm I have always wanted to go to. Hmmm.. I got to thinking, maybe I should. I would have extra money, see the farm,do a good deed, and she will think I am the greatest. So like the dumbass I am,I agree. Shit, now I have committed. Michael and I start talking about the down side. I sold myself to the devil to help someone. aghhhh! I need to learn to say no. Also did I mention their children are older than Michael and me. How is it that a 27 and 28 year old have a better grasp on life than people who have been around thirty years longer? What the hell is the matter with people? Isn't there a rational, logical chain of thought. When my phone breaks I use the cell phone to call the phone company. If my cell dies I buy a phone card and call the phone company. Where is this line of thinking? If people would just take the time to think out possible solutions to things they would be surprised what they can accomplish all by themselves.

I still want my landscaping book back, even if you think I am your daughter.