He's off...

Well, Michael left today. I took him to the airport after the paper route this morning. I am usually fine when he leaves, actually I kind of like it sometimes. Today though I almost started crying. Now I know the holiday stress and my mother are getting to me.

Michael and I stayed up late last night. He was playing Paper Mario and I was panicking that he forgot something. I feel asleep right in the middle of my panicking. My body is all fucked up from this paper route.

I found out why I was denied my LTD. Apparently my spinal specialist, the one who is trying to schedule me for a spinal fusion, signed some physical capacities evaluation stating I am capable of working an eight hour day. Needless to say I was shocked. One, I never did any kind of physical evaluation capacity test in his office. Two, if I am capable of working, why the fuck do I need surgery and what is this horrible pain I have been living with. The letter also includes snippets like this, "...you can sit, stand, and walk for 2-4 hours per day; lift/carry/push/pull a maximum of 10 pounds constantly, lift/carry a maximum of 20 pounds frequently-push/pull a maximum of 50 pounds frequently, lift/carry/ push/ pull a maximum of 100 pounds of assistance. He indicates you are capable of balancing, kneeling, reaching above shoulder and at waist level frequently; climbing, stooping, crawling, and reaching below waist level occasionally. You are capable of constant handling, feeling, and fingering. He indicates you are capable of 8 total maximum work hours per day...". This guy has no bedside manner, however he is one hell of a surgeon. I don't think he would have written or signed something like this. I suspect that some office staffer filled it in and just presented it to him for signing. So I am making an appointment stat...

I got in a huge fight this week with my mother, who I basically feel is a deranged bitch. She is such a manipulative person you really have to watch it around her. I won't go into the specifics right now, but I will later.

I'm disappointed in my ability to blog lately. It's one of the only bright spots right now. So, bare with me here, I'm trying to get on the computer each and every chance I get.

Michael and I got a tree yesterday. It's not impressive, but it's no Charlie Brown tree either. It keeps leaning back, so I'll have to adjust it later. We didn't have time to decorate it, so I'll have to do that later too. Man, I'm not looking forward to later.

I want Michael to have a great and successful trip. I'm sure I will be sprawled out over his side of the bed in no time. I just hate good byes. We probably needed a little break anyway, we've been a little snippy at each other lately. I think it's the stress of his work and my back. We don't really argue about anything, just how to accomplish menial tasks and crap like that.

I think I am going to have the night off from the paper tonight. That would be good, however I'm already on that crazy shift. I need to start and finish our Christmas cards and truffles. I guess 2:00 a.m. is just as good of a time as any. I hope all of you are having a little less stress and a little more fun this season.

Thanks for all the positive comments last week, I thought I was going to lose it! So now that Michael's off I am off to Aruba with Phillipe (he's my imaginary lover).