Denied, denied, and shit on

I had one of the worst days ever yesterday. I was denied by my LTD company. On December 8, the definition of disability changed. So, that was one last fuck you to me. I don't understand how the system doesn't protect those who are legitimately injured. I jumped through all the hoops. I have medical evidence(MRI's don't lie). It's just too fucking hard to believe someone my age has the extent of injuries I have. I don't want to live off them quite honestly. They don't pay jack shit anyway. I was just wanting to fix my back and be on my way. Apparently that is too much to ask.

Listen, mister man, I'm sorry I don't fit in the stereotypical category for back injuries. Maybe instead of looking at my age you could look at my medical records? I have never been ill. I have never had a work related injury. I have never missed a day at work or even been late. Why would I lie to receive less than half my shitty pay? Could it be I'm hurt? Na, must be something else.

What's surprising to me is that the system basically makes you follow a procedure to "live" off of them. I was forced to apply for Social Security and some other additional supplement Social Security offers. I specifically stated that I didn't want to do either. LISTEN YOU PRICKS!!! I don't want a trailer trash life off of you. I just want to be normal. Why not fix people and return them as a productive member of society? Hmm....guess they didn't think of that one.

In addition to my shitty news I'm beginning to get stressed out. Michael is leaving and I'm happy for him. Being able to travel makes him a huge asset to his company. He is also traveling to Indiana, so he will be able to see his family on the weekends. I am supposed to make truffles for his boss, but I'm missing all the details. I don't know how many, by what date, or how to get them to him. The end procedure takes two people, who's going to help me? I also have a buttload of Christmas cards to fill out and mail. A lot of these belong to Michael's family. I don't want to do them all. My yard needs the rye plucked out of the desert landscaping. I need an oil change, a new air filter, and some new wiper blades. I need to find a gyno(I'm out of anti-baby pills). I need to shave. I have to mail off rebates for the webcams. I promised I would finish the art league stuff. I need to adjust my sprinkler heads. All while I am applying for various jobs and running a paper route seven days a week. To top the whole thing off, Michael accidentally burnt the homemade French Bread Pizza's last night. I started bawling like an infant going through the terrible twos.

I think that means I 'm close to my breaking point. This is really a shame because I love this time of year. I'm not enjoying it one bit. Fuck, I don't have time to.

Any thoughts on how to minimize this laundry list? Anyone have any suggestions for anything? I'm all ears...