Awakening...or hormones???

What a week...

Work is going better than I ever imagined. I just received a promotion. A big one. Actually, I will be changing positions completely. I still get to travel to Mexico every two weeks until the transition is complete.

Things have been pleasant around the house. Not too much arguing or anything disagreeable...

Family and friends are all well...

Being able to check all of those things off as potential problems should make me happy. But I find I am feeling lost.

Recently someone I once loved more than anyone and thought I would never hear or wanted to hear from contacted me. It has been completely cathartic, however it stirred something up in me. I started thinking about things in my life past and present. I found myself really examining who I was and who I have become. Which one of me is better? Will I be different still in 10 more years? Will I like myself? How can I bring about change? Should all this stuff really be examined or should I just become whatever I shall become?

At first I tried to fluff it off, but then it really hit me. What am I doing with this life? Am I living like I want to live? What do I really not like about myself? What risks am I not taking because of fear? Will I have any impact on anything or anyone? Is that important to me?

I keep thinking by asking these questions that I will find some sort of resolution but instead I only find more questions. I wonder if this is really introspection or just hormones.