Weekend Update...

Friday: Drove to Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Drove around for 45 minutes looking for a fucking place to park. Almost hyperventilated because no such place appeared to exist. Regained composure after finding a spot three terminals away. Almost hyperventilated again I didn't think I would make my flight. Flew to Albuquerque without incident. Upon landing I was greeted by my two step-sisters, Rachel and Erica. Promptly sniffed out first available location that served alcohol. Commenced cocktailing while waiting for Meagan, my half-sister to arrive.

Phase two of the covert operation begins with my step-mom, Pam, calling us from her bathroom. She said that they were outside on the back patio and to come in quietly. Erica and Rachel went out back first. Dad was wondering why Rachel was off of work so early. Meagan came through the door and said, "To pick me up from the airport." Or something similar to that. Dad was excited to see her, but when I came through the door...well he got all kinds of teary eyed. We surprised the shit out of him. Points for us. We finished the night off with cocktails and reminiscing about shit we did to each other when we were younger. Meagan has it coming. That bitch pressed a piece of canned asparagus into the leaf of the table and I got my ass beat for it. Watch your back girlie...

Saturday: Erica and I woke up and went for a walk. When we were younger we used to hang all of the time, but as we got older we went on different paths. I finally had the chance to get to know her as and adult. I had a really great time visiting with her and learning about her life. We arrived home where we were greeted by dad's famous breakfast burritos. We wolfed them down and then...well total chaos ensued.

Have you ever see 5 grown women, 2 little girls, and 1 man all try to get ready at once? Not to mention there are only two showers which can't be used at the same time. Holy shit...it was insane. I got dressed in my pink even though ever muscle in my body was fighting it off like the black plague(or so I imagine). We went to the photo studio and...it was a lot less painful than I thought it was going to be. Dare I say it was actually kind of fun...

After the photos we went back to dad's where I carefully folded the pink shirt back up and placed it tag side up in my Dillard's bag...yep I'm returning it. Meagan and I played volleyball in the pool and I turned a disturbing shade of lobster red. We went out to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant after which my sister's and I went to a casino.

We finished the night up with cheese and cocktails. Erica and I got to laughing really hard. Apparently the little cheeses we ate came in this red wax. Meagan made me promise to save the wax. When I asked why I found out that she makes little figurines out of it. Tell me that's not weird...and a little creepy. So I looked at Erica and said in my creepiest voice, "Put the lotion in the basket." You know, from Silence of the Lambs. Well, Erica got it right away and for the rest of the weekend whenever anyone ate the cheese with the wax we would repeat it and start dying laughing. Meagan didn't find it too amusing.

Sunday: I woke up and was planning to try to play racquet ball with Erica, but our plans were cut short. Dad wanted stuffed cabbage for Father's day. So my step-mother, Pam was busy in the kitchen. She was having some difficulty, so I swooped right in and helped. I showed her an easy way to remove the cabbage core and make life easier. Rachel was taking forever chopping the onions, so I showed her an easier, more efficient way and finished them up for her. I rolled my sleeves up and tried my best not to step on any toes. Pam was awesome! Here I was worried about stepping on her toes and she was making me feel like the queen of the castle. So what did I do? I decided I would make some homemade German Chocolate Icing for her brownies. Erica and I worked on it and when they tasted it they were making sounds a sister/daughter should never hear. I was so proud and it was a lot of fun. Pam made me a kick ass cocktail and then it was time to eat. I can't ever remember feeling more loved or comfortable in that house. And then it was time to go...


[The pictures will be ready on Thursday and then they have to be mailed to me. I promise to post them...so you can see me in all my pinkness]