The great job history report of '05

Holy shit I did way too many drugs in college...I'm just realizing this today. I've been looking up transcripts, birth certificates, and just about everything else. I'm trying to fill out a job application, you know, because a fucking detailed resume just isn't enough. So I'm looking at my transcripts and it starts out o.k and then BAM, C,D,W...what the fuck was I thinking? I should have all A's or some shit.

This particular app wants a detailed ten year work history. I am having trouble remembering all the shit jobs I had while Michael was in the Air Force. Two of the companies I worked for no longer exist. They have been bought out or taken over. So I'm calling fucking NY, IL, and CO looking for information about my own employment. This just blows ass. I think I'd rather submit to a full body search, piss test, and fingerprinting than all of this fucking red tape.

I'm going to go draw blood and get it typed before they ask...