Gym happenings...

O.k. so for those of you who live under a rock...I have a really bad back and a totally fucked up right knee. Under no circumstances am I supposed to run, jog...nothing. I've been going to the gym for quite a while now and nothin'. So today I decided I was going to test myself...

I got on the treadmill and was haulin' ass. Within five minutes...tops...I was sucking air. I think I was sucking so much air I was disturbing the guy in front of me on the elliptical trainer. He kept looking back at me. I would run and then walk and catch my breath...and then run...and so on. Finally he was staring at me so much I really wanted to yell in between gasps for air..."What the fuck? So what I'm fucking sucking air...what's the big fucking deal? Haven't you ever seen someone fucking exert themselves? Yeah...I know I'm not as in shape as you are you fucking overbuilt, thigh rubbin', triple neck, mirror worshipping, muscle freakazoid, but at least my ass is fucking trying." Instead I rudely gave him the wide eyed stare down...you know....the one that says, "What the fuck are you looking at?"

Anyway I pushed myself until I though my knee was going to give way. I had an MRI done last week as a formality. My doctor thinks I have meniscus tears in both knees from so much exercising. Got that kids? Eat twinkies and fuck exercise because all it gets you is thighs that could crush a man's skull, knee surgery, and stupid fitter fucks staring at you.