Damn Evil Cheesy Snacks

I had way too many things to accomplish yesterday. I needed to go get some groceries before they went off sale. I f I didn't it was going to be sweet and hot pickles and 1/3 less sugar Fruit Loops for dinner. I had to go to the bank too. I noticed that Albertson's and Safeway are right by the bank. I made a quick list highlighting what was on sale at each store that I needed. It worked really well until I was at Fry's. I had highlighted that Cheez-its were on sale two for $5.00. That's not that great of a sale, but Michael eats the hot and spicy ones like they're going to evaporate. Yes, it did cross my mind that Michael sent me into a near straight-jacket like sweet frenzy by eating the last of the cookies. You don't forget searching for a Hershey's bottle to squeeze life down your throat that easily. Two wrongs don't make a right, even if it does make me feel better sometimes.

So I was strolling down the snack aisle. The cookies were bouncing off my glimmering will power shield. I came upon the Cheez-its. Those motherfucking bastards. Only some of the Cheez-its were on sale. Wtf? It's not like they wrote in the ad, "...only two of the twelve flavors on sale." Damn it. I had just started to put my cart in motion when all of the sudden the cheesy goodness of this one particular snack sang out to me. "Hallelujah, have a cheese snack, we love you...Hallelujah, we're cheesy, please eat us..." So you see I had no choice in the matter. Plus, they were on sale. I bought those bastards at 5:00 p.m. yesterday. My status report says I have eaten half of the box. Beware of snack crackers that sing to you, they are evil. Hold on a sec.....I'll be right back.

Fade out while Nina tip toes to the kitchen like a cat burgular to retrieve her cheesy snacks...