Where are my lifer's....Vlad????

Well, I just couldn't bare writing yesterday. I was too upset. I knew it. I have been lied to by Vlad. My best confidant in my neighborhood. Life stinks. I thought he was for real.

My day started out a little rocky, but I tried to make the best of it. I woke up and decided to watch the news in bed. After 3 solid hours of hearing about the weather in other places I turned it off. I did mention to hear the other 3 hours of news, which was about how many people died in the cars on their way to work. It's horrible traffic here. I have lived all over the country and traveled to most of the states. I think L.A. and Atlanta have nothing on the Phoenix metro area. Everyday someone dies from some asshole running him off the road because he didn't want to let him merge. It's depressing really. On the lighter side we talk about other cities weather because our weather is the same all summer. Hot and hotter, oh yeah and sunny.

My t.v. in bed watching session was over when my friend Ty (name change) called. He's getting married on the fourth of July,on a boat, in Newport Beach. His bride, (let's call her Ava), is really wonderful. He was calling to discuss some plans.

After I talked for a while I decided to go to the bagel shop by myself. It was really quite relaxing. I read the entire Sport's page without interruption. I had a yogurt and apple juice life was good. I had been struggling with some issues and I talked to Atom about some stuff. He was very attentive and supportive. I told him I felt like a shitheel for doubting Vlad. I felt guilty. I felt I should be a better friend, trust and believe in Vlad. Atom could see I was hurting. He said nothing. I told him I really didn't want to discuss it in detail because Vlad is his friend too. I don't want to put him in an awkward situation. I told him I saw stripped sheets on Vlad's spare bedroom floor,overheard Vlad on the phone saying something contrary to what Vlad told me,and I knew he was lying when another friend (Lustig) said something in conversation to me. Lustig does not lie. He once told Michael he couldn't go bike riding because he had the runs. Now what grown man says that to another grown man? I know he wasn't lying. Someone confirmed. It may have not been one of these two people, but I will not say. They did not give details, and they did not do it out of spite. They did it to help me.

I was devastated. I only have one rule to being my friend. NEVER lie to me. That's it. I don't care how bad you fuck up. We can work through it. If you lie to me, I will find out, and it will have consequences. In this case I feel betrayed, hurt, mad, and stupid. I should of trusted my instincts. Vlad made this whole thing and issue to begin with. I said I didn't want to know. I didn't believe he could boldface lie to me. I hung my whole self out there, flaws and all to be a true friend to him. I no longer know if I can confide in him. I don't know if I can open up my life to him the way it was. The longer he acts like nothing happened the more I feel disposable. So this was a major setback for me. I trusted him utterly and completely.

I have a lot of friends, but I think you only get a couple of lifers. Where are mine?