Just say No.

On Monday I went over to my friend Vlad's (the name has been changed to protect the guilty) house. Atom (also a name change), Vlad and I get together on Monday's to watch baseball and eat lunch. This time was a little different. I am a huge baseball nut. I don't like to miss any of the game at all. We were supposed to meet over at Vlad's and all make breakfast together before the game. We planned it the previous Friday. I told Vlad to set up the time we were all supposed to be over there and email me the time, but as usual there were "complications".

Vlad has a girlfriend Tess (name change). She's coming around, but before she was really weird about me being over there. I think it was a protect her man type thing. Tess has been married 3 times and Vlad also has been married twice. They live together in a house that they both picked out, but for some reason it is Tess's house. I know Tess has told Vlad it is his house too, but for some reason Vlad has not partaken. I don't understand this. There is no sense of Vlad in the house at all. O.k. there are a few easily removable items that belong to him. This just baffles me.

How can you live, sleep, and breathe with a person if they have taken over (or you have given them) your whole personality? Isn't being in a relationship about there being two separate and distinct people? I can't imagine living like that. I mean I would feel so stifled. Vlad however embraces this as a way to "serve" Tess. In some sick and twisted way this is supposed to help him get laid. I tell you there is no logic in this. Is the power of the pie so overwhelming it would cause someone to give up their ideas? The answer is no.

I think some men use that as an excuse. In Vlad's case, I feel like he uses it as an escape route. If he doesn't get married and only has a few things in the house he never has to be emotionally committed. If your not emotionally committed, why be in a relationship? You can go fuck any girl, why bother moving in? When do you say enough? I'm not even in his relationship and I am yelling enough from the sidelines. It's not fair to Vlad or Tess. Does she even know he is not all the way there? Who knows. Shit I am giving myself a headache with all this thinking.

Anyway, we met at the little cafe nearby and ate breakfast. We couldn't follow the plan because Vlad never talked to Atom and couldn't communicate that to me until Monday because of the "no Nina clause" on the weekend. He doesn't want to upset Tess. So we settled on the cafe. It was weird. I looked up to find both of them staring at me with little grins and giggles. When I asked what, they said it was the way I eat my potatoes. How can you be so observant of me and not of Tess? That's what I was thinking anyway. Then I wondered if he can not tell the whole truth to Tess what makes me so special? I mean he fucks her. Funny potato eater, I think not.

So we watched the game, and the Diamondbacks lost to Florida. It was a trouncing. Atom left to go home to his dog Muttley(dogs need protection too). I stayed around and decided to take a dip in the pool. Needless to say my ass is sunburned. When I am naked it looks like I am wearing a white swimsuit. It's now Thursday and conditions have not changed much. I was thinking on Monday maybe I'll just go by myself. I need the rest from all this drama. Just say NO...