OMG...I'm officially domesticated..

I just realized something...I'm getting settled. Something I thought I would never do.



Every life has immense tragedy, highest of hopes, excruciating love, and promise, but in my life these things aren't so obvious.



This brings me to the topic of settling down. I'd like to think of myself as out of the box compared to other thirty-somethingers. When I look at other people my age most of them are starting a family, have routines, and pretending it's all they ever wanted in life. I do not have any children and probably will not want to have any. I try to avoid routines because keeping things somewhat new and spontaneous provides me with ideas and experiences I can learn from. Not that being responsible is not a part of this, because it is. Also, if you are one of those people who has chosen the a fore mentioned life and is thrilled with it, I am happy for you. I do not mean to slam that idea of life, it's just that it's not for me.



When most people buy their house that's the point when they realized they are settling down and making a true commitment to another person, community, or at the very least a bank. It's the enormity of the responsibility. Although, this was huge in my life...when do you think I realized I'm settling...



Today when I was thrilled by the excitement of seeing my red peppers grow in my little garden. Staring at my cauliflower plant wondering if that's what it's supposed to look like. WTF? That's all I can really say at this point. When did gardening rise this high in my interests? I thought this whole time that I have quite the black thumb, because I traveled so much and everything would be dead when I returned. Turns out, gardening just wasn't a priority.



Each day I come home from work and tend to the garden. I think about things I'm not supposed to and let the release slowly come. I wonder if this would be a better description of heroin and not gardening....what the hell is the matter with me?